How to be confident in showing up online
written by myrra kate
This has been one of the most-asked questions I receive on my blog and Instagram account – how to be confident online – and it actually doesn’t surprise me. Why? Because I get it — the world of social media and the societal standards of “perfection” has got all of us, especially women, feel like we have to be someone else in order to stand out online.
But really, we don’t have to.
We only have to ACCEPT OURSELVES and BE OURSELVES to stand out from the rest of the world.
Now, I can end this blog post right here and now, after stating those two cliched, over-used words — “Be yourself”. But as simple as it sounds, it’s also really hard to put into action. I’d be the first in line to tell you just how hard it is.
I’ve been blogging and showing up online as my own personal brand since 2015 (although years before that, I’m already running some random blogs here and there). For a while, it felt good to be able to share my stories and voice out my thoughts online and know that other people can actually relate and are inspired by my posts.We only have to ACCEPT OURSELVES and BE OURSELVES to stand out from the rest of the world.Click To Tweet
However, as I knew more about the blogging world, met lots of amazing bloggers (online and in person), and posted more on social media, I started comparing myself and my work with others. I fell into that deep rabbit hole of comparison until I finally was in the rock bottom — left with no confidence, self-esteem, and worse, not a single motivation to write (this was the biggest thing because writing IS my passion!).
But I picked myself up from that rock bottom. I realized that if I wanted to live my dreams of building a successful online business and make an impact in the world, I’d better get up and DO something.
The same advice goes to you, my love. You clicked on this blog post (or you can also check this other blog post for more!) because you somehow feel that spark of hope that there’s so much to be, do, and have in this world… if only you are out of that shell of yours and are confident enough to show up online.
I’m so thankful you’re here because I see SO MUCH potential in you. So, without further ado, here are my tips (that I personally did) on how to be confident online.
How to be confident online so you can stand out from the crowd
1 – Be intentional.
Did you ever have that moment when you just said, “OKAY THIS IS ENOUGH. I’M GOING TO [state action here]” and you got actual results after doing whatever it is? The same goes here if you want to be confident online.
You must DECIDE to actually stop playing small and get out of that freakin’ shell of yours. You are a human being after all (not that I’m underestimating turtles because I mean, we love our co-species and help save them ok?).
But seriously, you are a human being and do you know how much chances we have in being born? Someone actually calculated it and said it’s 1 in 400 trillion. YOU ARE 1 IN 400 TRILLION. Get that yet? That’s how unique and miraculous you are, babe. So decide and act like the miracle you are now.
2 – Start with social media
I’m guessing that if you’re here, you have at least one social media account, yes? What if I tell you that your Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat — all those types of things — are messing up with your confidence and your mind, in general? What if I tell you that the creators of those sites that we love and are addicted to actually hire attention engineers who borrow psychological techniques from gambling so that we, as users, will keep on using them? What if I tell you that every like/notification on that phone of yours is specifically designed to trigger a part of your brain that releases dopamine, a chemical that our brain releases that is associated to addiction and the same chemical that can be found on cocaine?
All true, my love. Hard to accept but these are all facts.
But you may take the question back at me and ask — then why write about being confident to show up online as a blogger/online entrepreneur when the same platforms you’ll show up on are the ones ruining your confidence?
I know, I know. THE IRONY, RIGHT?
But my point is, social media wouldn’t ruin your confidence if your confidence is not dependent on social media, in the first place. Get that?
That’s why I recommend that you get a social media detox for a day, week, or month or however long you want to. I did it for a month and it changed my life. I swear, it did. It’s what got me out of that rabbit hole. It’s what made me realize that my self-worth is never dependent on how many likes/comments/followers I have, that I don’t need to always prove myself to the world by filtering my life in a way that it always looked happy and perfect, and that I don’t need other people’s approval to actually do the things I wish to do (i.e. starting a business model that my FB friends and family knew nothing about).
Start with a social media detox, love. I promise it’s worth it.
3 – Awareness is key
To be confident in showing up online as the most authentic you, you should first be aware of the people, things, and situations that decrease your confidence. Write down all the things and situations that have been negatively affecting you. List down all the names of the people that always talk crap about you or your work or those who always doubt you.
And then, it’s time to let go of them. Gracefully. It would be better if you confront them (in a really direct but nice tone) and tell them how they’ve been affecting your confidence and how you would love it if they stop doing those things (ex. They keep teasing your work so you end up doubting your ability to write or create well). If you can’t totally distance yourself from them, then just make an effort to not vibe with their energy.
4 – Consume any content that can boost your confidence.
There are several ways to do this:
- Read self-development books
- Listen to self-love podcasts
- Watch empowering youtube videos
- Watch encouraging documentaries or movies
- Read personal development and mindset blogs (like mine hehehe)
Just find anything that you can hold onto for more confidence on your part — anything empowering and motivational for you to finally start showing up online in your most confident self.
5 – Surround yourself with inspiring people who support, appreciate, and lift you up.
This is related to tip #4 and it’s all about not going through this journey alone in getting your self-confidence back. It would be very valuable if you have relatives, friends, or co-workers who can genuinely prove to you just how beautiful, accepted, and worthy you are.
Yes, you don’t need to gain their approval and should work on yourself first but it would be a big deal to surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself.
6 – Be kind to yourself.
Your confidence is entirely up to you. It isn’t sold somewhere for a couple of bucks for you to finally feel secure about yourself (If it were, then we’d all be probably overconfident species, no?). No secret or tip or strategy can directly give it to you.
If you want to show up online (and even make money!) as you build your blogs/brands and turn them into profitable businesses, then you need to start with yourself. You must be kinder to yourself in terms of your words, actions, and beliefs. You can constantly tell yourself positive affirmations like “I am worthy” or “I am SO enough” to change the thoughts and voices in your head that says you aren’t confident enough.
When you repeat these over and over again, you’ll just be surprised that, one day, you feel worthy and confident enough in your own body and with your own life.
Those my TOP tips on how to be confident online as a content creator who’s constantly showing up online, my love. I have more but that would probably be in my next blog posts to come. In the meantime, you can sign up in this link to get exclusive content from me and follow me on Instagram to get more of my daily motivational posts on blogging and mindset that I intentionally create for you.
Now, go out there and be limitless.
I'm Myrra Kate!
I help female entrepreneurs scale their income and impact by launching transformational online courses so they can stop trading time for money and have more freedom.
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